Only You
by DeadlyDevotion
Summary: ...because he wanted so badly to believe that he was something precious. A reoccuring dream of different girls with the same soul, spoken to the same boys with different hearts. Infinity, major spoilers all around SxS SxS SxS


She screams. Syaoran is horrified and tries to hold her, but Sakura will have none of it and starts thrashing more violently to reach behind him. Fay tries to approach her but Kurogane puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him where he is as Sakura keeps crying and screaming. Her nails are digging into Syaoran's shoulders now and his eye closes for a moment in pain, but he doesn't move. Kurogane and Fay watch from the bedside as Syaoran gently touches Sakura's back, the very opposite that her nails were doing for his.

"It's not me!" is all they can hear "It's not me!!"

She's still reaching out for the empty wall, trying so hard to reach for something they couldn't see. Her eyes are dazed and laced with tears, but their cold vacancy reminds Syaoran of another Sakura being pulled up in the ruins. His arms circle around her shivering body softly, but in a firm way that Sakura can never break away from.

"…it's not me" she tells him, suddenly taking Syaoran by the shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes "I'm not her"

"You're you" Syaoran agrees with a sad smile. While his other arm keeps her trembling body near him, his free hand comes to her face and he presses his palm affectionately to her cheek. Even if the words and the touch are an echo of another person and he is feeling ill from repeating them he knows that these are the words and touches she is looking for and so he is repeating "You're only you" in a whisper that transcends time.

A spark goes off in Sakura's eyes and in a moment they change from a black-green to an amazing shade of jade. Syaoran only has a second to admire the warm beauty that even tortured love can create before Sakura falls into his chest.

"A nightmare?" Kurogane pushes some of Sakura's hair away with a trembling finger.

"Or a vision" Both Syaoran and Kurogane watch silently as Fay kneels next to the bed and takes Sakura's cold hand from Syaoran's shoulder. Something about the way he is kissing her hand makes Syaoran tense and he has to resist the urge to stop the action.

It's only when the Princess Sakura and the Son of Sakura are left together in the dark bedroom that her eyes open again. They're no longer vacant or filled with tragic love but they're dark and distant. Even though her head is in Syaoran's lap, he assumes Sakura doesn't notice. Her attention isn't on the present.

It's in the past, it's on the future, it's never on him.

That's what Syaoran constantly _assumes_. And so he grows uncomfortable and uneasy to have her so near, worrying that she might not like him to be so close to someone she keeps so distant. But Syaoran is wrong and knows it when Sakura whispers "I'm not Sakura…"

Another bedroom, another world, behind the veil of a different body and a different heart, Sakura's words echo. Syaoran closes his eyes, letting the memory of the past flash through his mind--

* * *

"Princess?!"

Syaoran's eyes widened as Sakura pressed her face to his chest. For a second he looked around his dark bedroom for a threat, something to save her from but Sakura had come into his room in the middle of the night alone. The notion brought a bright red flush to his face that made it difficult for him to assess the situation beyond the idea that his precious person was currently between his legs.

"…w-what's wrong?" he whispered at last. Although it took some deliberation, Syaoran put his hand on her shaking shoulder.

Sakura drew back at once and Syaoran felt a sharp pang of misery when he saw her tears. He didn't give himself time to think and quickly brought his hand up to wipe them away, even as Sakura giggled embarrassedly and said she was fine.

"Fine?" he breathed in disbelief

Sakura's cheeks turned more red then his and she awkwardly moved off of him. Syaoran frowned but didn't stop her from creating a distance between them. She didn't move far though and Syaoran's hand remained on her shoulder.

Sakura kept her head down, her arms pressed together between her thighs "….S-sorry. I…I don't know why I…I…--I don't know what came over me to…t-to do such a thing but--" she wiped some fresh tears away "…but I was so scared--"

"Scared?" his other hand came up to her other shoulder and he leaned across the distance she had created "Of what? What happened Princess?"

"A dream" she whispered "…it scared me"

Syaoran's grip loosened. A dream. Yes, Sakura would have strange dreams all the time in Clow Country. It had something to do with her powers, but Syaoran only knew as much about those developing abilities as Sakura did. She had been studying under Yukito-san for awhile in Clow but that didn't mean Sakura understood everything about her powers. Especially her dreams.

Most of the dreams that Sakura had shared with him he had liked. Like how she told him that she dreamed that Syaoran would come to Clow--her happiest dream, she said back then. But Sakura had also dreamed about Clow's death as well as his father's last day….

Syaoran hesitantly asked "…what scared you in it?"

"Me"

He blinked.

"Me but not me" she told him. Her eyes lowered "….Syaoran-kun…"

Syaoran shifted closer "What is it?"

"I'm…" he moved even closer "…I'm not Sakura"

Syaoran had to take a second to make sure he heard her right. In Clow, Sakura had come to him with the exact same words….

"Why would you think that?" he whispered

"…In my dream--" her voice cracked and Sakura tumbled forward.

Syaoran was able to catch her in his arms but he started to shiver with fear "P-Princess?"

"I-I'm alright" she said but didn't move. Syaoran looked down and saw her eyes were closed. But despite the strange fall, she looked peaceful against his chest. Her hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt and she whispered "…but I'm not the girl in the feathers. That person and me are not the same Syaoran-kun. I'm stealing these precious memories from that girl and...and making everyone get hurt to steal them"

"You're wrong. Those feathers belong to you"

"…You've only been collecting the feathers because I've said they're mine"

"You're wrong"

She blushed from his strange bluntness "T-then how did you know that they're mine?"

Syaoran became flushed and uneasy too but murmured "Because the Witch-san told me"

"And what if that was just something I told her? Just because I wanted to--" her voice broke again "…To steal someone else's life?"

"…you would never do such a thing, Princess"

"You only know me from this journey" she whispered miserably "But what if the person you see now is a lie?"

"…you're only you" Syaoran pressed his palm to her cheek "Just in the fact that you're worried about this proves it. Sakura Hime is Sakura Hime" he whispered with a small smile "There is no difference"

He felt Sakura shyly pulling at his night shirt "…e-even if you don't know those memories that I see?" she asked nervously "Even so, you believe that I'm Sakura?"

"I _know_ you're Sakura" he corrected with a more confident smile "I don't have to see your memories to know who you are. Because I can feel you who are in this moment"

Syaoran swallowed hard from his own words. And watching Sakura's cheeks turn red as she looked up to him with wide curious eyes didn't help the sudden heat that rushed through his veins.

"…you can feel me?" she whispers embarrassedly

Syaoran had to contain the urge to wave his hand and defend himself against all the equally bad things the phrase could mean. Instead, with all the concentration in the world, Syaoran smiled "...h-hai"

"…I can feel you too" she told him softly. Syaoran felt Sakura's hand rest on top of his that remained on her cheek and he smiled more when he saw her shy smile aimed at him. When she looked at him like that Syaoran felt like they were lying in his bed in Clow. It was like Sakura was finally seeing Syaoran as 'her Syaoran' not the nice boy who helped her gather feathers. He missed the feeling of being Sakura's friend so much, of being something precious and just for her and because of that--because he wanted so badly to believe that he was something precious to her in this moment too--Syaoran diverted his eyes.

Sakura diverted hers too and the moment was broken. But Sakura smiled again and continued to hold his hand. And Syaoran smiled again and continued to rest his hand to her cheek.

"Thank you...Syaoran-kun"

* * *

The Princess Sakura did not look to Syaoran like she had looked to Syaoran of Outo. Now she looked to Syaoran _for _that Syaoran of Outo, just as unconsciously as she had looked to that Syaoran of Outo for her lost Syaoran of Clow.

"…a dream" she told this Syaoran now, just as she had to a Syaoran in Clow, just as she had to a Syaoran in Outo

Syaoran is taking her hand and pressing it to his cheek with a pained look. Sakura is still staring emotionlessly into the void. Her eyes are getting darker and becoming clouded with tears now as Syaoran kisses her hand like Fay had done.

"…The Sakura in the memories is not me" she is saying in monotone "And that Sakura is not Sakura either"

"…You're wrong" he is mumbling into her pale fingers with a trembling voice

"…I am no one"

"You're wrong"

"…I don't exist--"

"You're _wrong_!" he shouts in agony "That Sakura, the other Sakura, this Sakura--you're all different but you're all you! It doesn't matter if those memories don't belong to you! It doesn't matter if there are other Sakura's! You are you…you are only _you_!"

"…watashi wa" she is replying with tears falling down her face. Syaoran's tears drop from their hands and the proof of their misery blends together on her cheek in a way that him and her were never destined to.

The Princess Sakura finally notices Syaoran off in the distant haze of her mind. She notices his tears, his kisses, and his pain that even he doesn't understand. But she is always noticing things that aren't seen. And just as _her_ Syaoran had told her back in that day, Sakura is feeling this Syaoran. This feeling brings her back to reality and Sakura is sitting up and pulling her hand away. Syaoran isn't surprised and doesn't watch her hand disappear from his lips.

"I am only me" she tells him as she sits up.

Syaoran agrees in a soft nod that she doesn't see.

"And you" he is looking up and watching with something close to fear as Sakura is cupping his face in her hands and smiling "are only you, Syaoran-kun" He can only stare at her in confusion as whispers "and so…please be free to be only you"

* * *


End file.
